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Local Events Archives for 2014-01


The Top Things We Learned in 2013

 

Since we're almost to the end of 2013, let's take a minute to review what happened with The Top Things We Learned in 2013.

 

 

Making people sit and wait for a website to load is worth double-digit approval numbers.

 

 

All twerk and no play makes Miley a rich girl.

 

 

Thanks to the NSA, Santa isn't the only one who knows if you've been bad or good.

 

 

Santa and Jesus are WHITE, dammit, and the children MUST be told!

 

 

Apparently, "pope" is a job that's just as easy to quit as "McDonald's fry cook."

 

 

Paula Deen can't fake-cry to save her life.  Or her career.

 

 

People will literally buy ANYTHING Apple tells them to.

 

 

We should've elected Mitt Romney.

 

 

Crack can even make Canadians interesting.

 

 

Somehow, Tim Tebow's out of football, but Tony Romo isn't.

 

 

Carrie Underwood can't act.  Eddie Murphy can't sing.  And Paul Walker can't drive.

 

 

There's a reason Arsenio hasn't been on TV since the '90s.

 

 

It's not as cool as it once was to wear those yellow "Livestrong" bracelets.

 

 

George Clooney's life is infinitely better than yours in every conceivable way.

 

 

People will drop a small fortune on a new Apple product that's essentially the same as their old one, just because there's an "S" in the name.

 

 

Even though we DON'T live in the 1400s, the birth of a Royal Baby somehow still qualifies as "news."

 

 

For some inexplicable reason, people keep letting Vince Vaughn make movies.

 

 

That email where you told your mom you're depressed, your job sucks, and you'll never meet a girl?  The NSA got a BIG kick out of it.

 

 

Nelson Mandela is lucky he died before anyone could make him sit through the cloying biopic about his life.

 

 

Miley Cyrus' goal in life is apparently to initiate painfully awkward Thanksgiving conversation with your grandma about the definition of "twerking."

 

 

Americans would be WAY more interested in the Syrian Civil War, if it starred some of the "Real Housewives".

 

 

The "Hunger Games" movies are perfect for anyone who likes movies about fights to the death, where no one actually dies.

 

 

If you want to be mayor, it's okay to have a drug problem and sexually harass female staffers but NOT okay to text anyone pics of your junk.
 


The year slowly fades to an end as does the life of your smartphone battery.
 


A baby is born when two people who love themselves very much join together in a special act of publicity.

 

 

Well, whatever we learned the NSA definitely learned, too.

 

 

Next time, we should elect a president who is familiar with Javascript.

 

 

My nanny can't keep a secret.  That's what I learned!

 

 

It IS possible for the Kardashians to get more annoying.

 

 

We should all be worshipping Kanye West . . . according to Kanye West.

 

 

Eventually, we will see every former Disney child star naked.

 

 

If you want to have the biggest hit record of the year, rip off an old Marvin Gaye song and shoot a video with naked models.

 

 

Alan Thicke neglected to teach his son that it's wrong to steal from Marvin Gaye.

 

 

No event, even the funeral of a major world leader, is too serious to take a selfie.

 

 

That even shady offshore porn companies build better websites than the government.

 

 

America no longer has a monopoly on crackhead mayors.

 

 

If you don't write down and Instagram your resolutions, people won't remember that you even had any, so all is forgiven.

 

 

All viral YouTube videos are actually Jimmy Kimmel's hoaxes.

 

 

The federal government can be shutdown for two weeks without anyone really noticing.

 

 

You're better off pulling your kids out of school so you can home-bully them.

 

 

Will Ferrell doesn't know the meaning of the word "overexposed."

 

 

A lot of musical artists would be working at Wendy's if not for Auto-Tune.

 

 

We have no hope because nothing has changed.

 

 

You CAN'T keep your existing health insurance.

 

 

The very tall ebony women you meet from the Casual Encounters section of Craigslist sometimes can have a penis.  Actually, that's something *I* learned.

 

 

Amanda Bynes has really bad taste in wigs.

 

 

Rob Ford doesn't eat many salads.

 

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Local Events

 


Third Thursday on Third Street

August 20th

Downtown Alexandria
Alexandria, LA
6:00PM - 9:00PM

Join us again for food, fun and entertainment along Third Street! Come join us for THIRD THURSDAY ON THIRD STREET this THURSDAY, August 20, 2015 from 6pm to 9pm. There will be lots of food and drink specials, variety of music, and as always, a great atmosphere in downtown!



Acoustic Concert Series: Guitar Pull

August 20th

Alexandria Museum of Art
933 Second Street
Alexandria, LA
6:30PM - 8:30PM

Local Duo of Songwriting Singers playing home made Southern Blues, Folk, and Soul originals. 

Live music, food, and fun! Join us on third Thursdays for the Alexandria Museum of Art's most popular recurring social event. Enjoy lively conversation with friends, connect with art, listen to music, and snack on tasty food and drink every third Thursday at AMoA 

Admission: 
Free for AMoA Members, $5 Nonmembers

Wild Kidz Tri

Saturday August 29th

LSUA
8100 Highway 71 South
Alexandria, LA
8:00AM

Run Wild MultiSports LLC, a 501(c)3 and friends are bringing back this crowd favorite. This non-competitive kid’s only triathlon is an amazing opportunity for kids to gain a boost in self-confidence, increase self-esteem and achieve a fitness goal while having fun – just in time to build confidence and motivation for another successful school year. Distances are age appropriate. Get more details and register online at www.imathlete.com.


2nd Ammendment Tax Holiday

September 4th & 5th

2220 memorial drive
Alexandria, LA 71301
1:30PM

The 2nd Ammendment tax holiday will take place September 4-6. This tax holiday eliminates all sales tax from the purchase of all hunting equipment and apparel. This includes guns ammo decoys treestands and really anythin else you need for hunting. All retailers participate. Any questions can be directed to Security Sporting Goods 318-445-6246.

Phone: 
318-445-6246

 


Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat

Thursday September 10th

Thru The 13th

Coughlin-Saunders Performing Arts Center
1202 Third Street
Alexandria, LA 71301
7:00PM

The Biblical saga of Joseph and his coat of many colors comes to vibrant life in this delightful musical parable. Joseph, his father's favorite son, is a boy blessed with prophetic dreams. Joseph endures a series of adventures in which his spirit and humanity are continually challenged. Set to an engaging cornucopia of musical styles, from country-western and calypso to bubble-gum pop and rock'n'roll, this Old Testament tale emerges both timely and timeless.

Admission: 
$18 regular admission, $15 seniors 55 and up, $13 children 12 and under and for groups of 10 or more
Phone: 
(318) 487-8243

WALK TO END ALZHEIMER'S
Kent Plantation House, Alexandria LA

Saturday, September 12, 2015
Check-in & late registration 9 a.m.
Opening Ceremony 10 a.m.
register today online / no registration fee


A Perfect Fit Pancake Breakfast 2015

Thursday September 17th

St. James Episcopal Church
1620 Murray St.
Alexandria, LA
6:00AM - 11:00AM

Join A Perfect Fit Foundation for their annual Pancake Breakfast to be held Thursday, September 17 in the Parish Hall of St. James Episcopal Church. Patrons will receive a short stack of pancakes, sausage, a beverage, and fresh fruit for their donation. Breakfast is available by dine-in or carry out from 6 to 11 AM. And, remember, with each donation you are helping A Perfect Fit Foundation fulfill its mission to provide free, appropriately-fitting shoes for needy school children in Central Louisiana. Donations of $7.00 per person are suggested. La Capitol Federal Credit Union is proud to be the corporate sponsor of A Perfect Fit Pancake Breakfast.

Enjoy a hearty breakfast and support a worthy cause!

Admission: 
$7 suggested donation

Dancing with the Stars Cenla Style

Thursday September 17th

Sai Convention Center
Alexandria, LA
United States
6:00PM

Susan G. Komen Golf Tournament

Friday, Sept. 18, 2015.

Check-in begins at 10:30 a.m.

The tournament will be held at Oakwing Golf Club.

For those interested in becoming a sponsor or playing in the tournament, please contact Cindy

Perdue or Terry Taylor with Cleco at 318-484-7400


4th Annual Le Tour de Bayou Pre Ride Party

Friday September 18th
Kent Plantation House
3601 Bayou Rapides Road
Alexandria, LA
6:00PM

This cycling/running event is one of the largest in Central Louisiana! Run the 5K or ride the 100, 70,56,31 or 10 Mile! Ride or Run the 2 mile family fun ride/walk! Enjoy music, food and family fun! See our facebook page or website for more info letourdebayou.com


LSUA 5K and 1 Mile Fun Run

Saturday September 26th

8:30AM - 10:00AM

Join the LSUA student-athletes and come run with the Generals on Saturday, September 26 at 8:30am at LSUA. 

Choose between the 5K and the 1 mile fun run.

Register online at www.lsua5k.com and raceway registration is available at the Fitness Center. 

The cost is $20 and each participant receives a surprise bonus. 

For more information, contact Larry Cordaro at lcordaro@lsua.edu or 318-619-2968.


Pops on the River

Rapides Symphony Orchestra

Saturday September 26th

Alexandria Amphitheater
Alexandria, LA
7:30PM

Join the Rapides Symphony Orchestra on September 26, 2015 for their annual Pops on the River.  This spectacular season opener is back at the Alexandria Amphitheater overlooking the beautiful Red River.  This year’s concert will feature New Orleans jazz legend pianist Ronnie Kole alongside our local orchestra.  Don’t miss this fun evening of music! 

Admission: 
Free and Open to the public

Inglewood Harvest Barn Market

Every Tuesday!!
6233 Old Baton Rouge Hwy.
Alexandria

3:00PM - 6:00PM

 

Alexandria Mid-Week Farmers’ Market **
2727 Jackson Street
3:00 PM – 6:00 PM

 

Thursdays
Pineville Market **
Highway 28 E
3:00 PM – 6:00 PM


Leesville Main Street Farmers’ Market **
3rd Main Street
3:00 PM – 6:00 PM

 

Saturdays
Inglewood Harvest Barn Market **
6233 Old Baton Rouge HWY
8:00 AM – 12:00 PM
Lafayette Farmers & Artisans Market
at the Horse Farm
2913 Johnston Street
8:00 AM – 12:00 PM
** EBT/SNAP ACCEPTED AT THIS LOCATION
* CREDIT CARDS ACCEPTED AT EVERY LOCATION

 

featuring local and organic produce, humanely raised meats, artisan baked goods, preserved foods and handmade crafts. Check their Facebook page for special events: http://www.facebook.com/InglewoodFarmMarketAtTheBarn.

Admission: 
Free
Phone: 
(318) 442-6398

 



CENLA BROADCASTING 

TICKETMASTER
1115 Texas Avenue
Alexandria, LA
9AM - 4PM 
MONDAY-FRIDAY.
PHONE 
318-445-1234

 

 


Ticketmaster - Local Shows

 

 



Gary Allan

August 21st

Kinder, LA

Coushatta Casino

 

The Fixx

August 22nd

Marksville, LA

Paragon Casino

 

KC & The Sunshine Band

August 22nd

Vinton, LA

Delta Downs Casino

 

Eddy Raven

August 22nd

Opelousas, LA

Evangeline Race Track


Collective Soul

August 22

Charenton, LA

Cypress Bayou Casino

 

Boyz II Men

August 29th

Biloxi, MS

IP Casino

 

Mötley Crüe: The Final Tour "All Bad Things Must Come To An End

September 4th

New Orleans

Smoothy Kings Center

 

Clint Black

September 5th

Shreveport, LA

Sam's Town Casino

 

Charlie Pride

September 19th

Bossier City

Horseshoe Casino

 

Slash featuring Myles Kennedy and the Conspirators

October 2nd

Marksville, LA

Paragon Casino

 

Jackson Browne

October 10th

New Orleans

Saenger Theater

 

Ariana Grande

October 9th

New Orleans

Smoothie King Center

 

Better Than Ezra

October 16th

Baton Rouge

L'Auberge Casino

 

Josh Groban

October 21st

New Orleans

Saenger Theater

 

Sesame Street Live

Make A New Friend

November 6th

New Orleans

UNO Lakefront Arena

 

Aaron Neville

December 4th

Baton Rouge

L'Auberge Casino

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


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