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Local Events Archives for 2014-01


The Top Things We Learned in 2013

 

Since we're almost to the end of 2013, let's take a minute to review what happened with The Top Things We Learned in 2013.

 

 

Making people sit and wait for a website to load is worth double-digit approval numbers.

 

 

All twerk and no play makes Miley a rich girl.

 

 

Thanks to the NSA, Santa isn't the only one who knows if you've been bad or good.

 

 

Santa and Jesus are WHITE, dammit, and the children MUST be told!

 

 

Apparently, "pope" is a job that's just as easy to quit as "McDonald's fry cook."

 

 

Paula Deen can't fake-cry to save her life.  Or her career.

 

 

People will literally buy ANYTHING Apple tells them to.

 

 

We should've elected Mitt Romney.

 

 

Crack can even make Canadians interesting.

 

 

Somehow, Tim Tebow's out of football, but Tony Romo isn't.

 

 

Carrie Underwood can't act.  Eddie Murphy can't sing.  And Paul Walker can't drive.

 

 

There's a reason Arsenio hasn't been on TV since the '90s.

 

 

It's not as cool as it once was to wear those yellow "Livestrong" bracelets.

 

 

George Clooney's life is infinitely better than yours in every conceivable way.

 

 

People will drop a small fortune on a new Apple product that's essentially the same as their old one, just because there's an "S" in the name.

 

 

Even though we DON'T live in the 1400s, the birth of a Royal Baby somehow still qualifies as "news."

 

 

For some inexplicable reason, people keep letting Vince Vaughn make movies.

 

 

That email where you told your mom you're depressed, your job sucks, and you'll never meet a girl?  The NSA got a BIG kick out of it.

 

 

Nelson Mandela is lucky he died before anyone could make him sit through the cloying biopic about his life.

 

 

Miley Cyrus' goal in life is apparently to initiate painfully awkward Thanksgiving conversation with your grandma about the definition of "twerking."

 

 

Americans would be WAY more interested in the Syrian Civil War, if it starred some of the "Real Housewives".

 

 

The "Hunger Games" movies are perfect for anyone who likes movies about fights to the death, where no one actually dies.

 

 

If you want to be mayor, it's okay to have a drug problem and sexually harass female staffers but NOT okay to text anyone pics of your junk.
 


The year slowly fades to an end as does the life of your smartphone battery.
 


A baby is born when two people who love themselves very much join together in a special act of publicity.

 

 

Well, whatever we learned the NSA definitely learned, too.

 

 

Next time, we should elect a president who is familiar with Javascript.

 

 

My nanny can't keep a secret.  That's what I learned!

 

 

It IS possible for the Kardashians to get more annoying.

 

 

We should all be worshipping Kanye West . . . according to Kanye West.

 

 

Eventually, we will see every former Disney child star naked.

 

 

If you want to have the biggest hit record of the year, rip off an old Marvin Gaye song and shoot a video with naked models.

 

 

Alan Thicke neglected to teach his son that it's wrong to steal from Marvin Gaye.

 

 

No event, even the funeral of a major world leader, is too serious to take a selfie.

 

 

That even shady offshore porn companies build better websites than the government.

 

 

America no longer has a monopoly on crackhead mayors.

 

 

If you don't write down and Instagram your resolutions, people won't remember that you even had any, so all is forgiven.

 

 

All viral YouTube videos are actually Jimmy Kimmel's hoaxes.

 

 

The federal government can be shutdown for two weeks without anyone really noticing.

 

 

You're better off pulling your kids out of school so you can home-bully them.

 

 

Will Ferrell doesn't know the meaning of the word "overexposed."

 

 

A lot of musical artists would be working at Wendy's if not for Auto-Tune.

 

 

We have no hope because nothing has changed.

 

 

You CAN'T keep your existing health insurance.

 

 

The very tall ebony women you meet from the Casual Encounters section of Craigslist sometimes can have a penis.  Actually, that's something *I* learned.

 

 

Amanda Bynes has really bad taste in wigs.

 

 

Rob Ford doesn't eat many salads.

 

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Local Events

 


Inglewood Harvest Barn Market

Every Tuesday!!
6233 Old Baton Rouge Hwy.
Alexandria

3:00PM - 6:00PM

 

Alexandria Mid-Week Farmers’ Market **
2727 Jackson Street
3:00 PM – 6:00 PM

 

Thursdays
Pineville Market **
Highway 28 E
3:00 PM – 6:00 PM


Leesville Main Street Farmers’ Market **
3rd Main Street
3:00 PM – 6:00 PM

 

Saturdays
Inglewood Harvest Barn Market **
6233 Old Baton Rouge HWY
8:00 AM – 12:00 PM
Lafayette Farmers & Artisans Market
at the Horse Farm
2913 Johnston Street
8:00 AM – 12:00 PM
** EBT/SNAP ACCEPTED AT THIS LOCATION
* CREDIT CARDS ACCEPTED AT EVERY LOCATION

 

featuring local and organic produce, humanely raised meats, artisan baked goods, preserved foods and handmade crafts. Check their Facebook page for special events: http://www.facebook.com/InglewoodFarmMarketAtTheBarn.

Admission: 
Free
Phone: 
(318) 442-6398


 

Rhythm & Rhymes Spoken Word Performing Arts Series

Alexandria Museum of Art
933 Second Street
Alexandria, LA
July 31st

7:00PM - 9:00PM

Musical and spoken word performances, including open mic and featured performers, are presented at the Alexandria Museum of Art, promoting the art of spoken word and self-expression, as well as creating opportunities for poets.

Hosted by accomplished slam poet and Alexandria native Sha’Condria “iCon” Sibley.

Admission: 
Free for AMoA Members; $4 for non-members

Clybourne Park– City Park Players

July 31 to August 8th

Hearn Stage at The Kress Theater
1102 Third Street
Alexandria, LA

Join City Park Players for Bruce Norris’s Clybourne Park to be performed Thursdays through Sundays from July 30 to August 9 at the Hearn Stage of the Kress Theatre.  Thursday through Saturday performances begin at 7:30 PM, and Sunday matinees begin at 2:30 PM.

Admission: 
General admission: $15.00 Seniors (60+): $12.00 Students: $7.00 Groups of 10+: $10.00

 


Back To School Concert with Taylor Mathews & Michelle Willis

Coughlin-Saunders Performing Arts Center
PO Box 12802
Alexandria, LA 71315

Saturday August 1st

3:00PM - 5:00PM

Back To School Concert featuring America's Got Talent Top Ten Finalist (and Cenla native), Taylor Mathews and rising Nashville star, Michelle Willis.  To benefit the pediatric arts programs of Arts & Healthcare, Inc.  Taylor and Michelle will have CDs available and will sign autographs after the show.  A fun event for the whole family.


St Jude Back to School Jamfest

77 Long Leaf Rd
Longleaf, LA

5:00PM - 11:00PM

Join us Saturday, August 1st for the 1st Annual St Jude Back to School JamFest! Held at the Southern Forest Heritage Museum with music from new country artist Brandon Holland and Nashville raising star Erica Nicole Music! It will be an afternoon of fun for the entire family and it's absolutely FREE for everyone!

 



 

National Night Out Block Parties

August 4th

Alexandria Garden District
Alexandria, LA

6:00PM - 9:00PM

National Night Out is being held on Tuesday, August 4, 2015, an annual nationwide event designed to strengthen relationships in your neighborhoods, raise crime prevention awareness, and continue relationships with public safety officials and between neighbors.

 


Visitor Appreciation Day

Alexandria Zoological Park
3016 Masonic Drive
Alexandria, LA
Saturday August 8th

9:00AM - 4:00PM

Admission: Free

Get up, get out, and come play at the Alexandria Zoo on this day filled with music, activities, animals and fun.

 


Susan G. Komen and Cleco are teaming up to Tee Off for a Cure by hosting the Cleco/Komen Golf Tournament Friday, Sept. 18, 2015. Check-in begins at 10:30 a.m. with a shotgun start at 12:30 p.m. The tournament will be held at Oakwing Golf Club.

For those interested in becoming a sponsor or playing in the tournament, please contact Cindy Perdue or Terry Taylor with Cleco at 318-484-7400.


 


 

 

 

 

 



CENLA BROADCASTING 

TICKETMASTER
1115 Texas Avenue
Alexandria, LA
9AM - 4PM 
MONDAY-FRIDAY.
PHONE 
318-445-1234

 

 


Ticketmaster - Local Shows

 

 


Hillsong United

July 29th

New Orleans

Smoothie King Center

 

Whitesnake

August 8th

Marksville, LA

Paragon Casino

 

The Midtown Men

August 15th

Marksville, LA

Paragon Casino

 

Incubus

August 16th

New Orleans

Bold Sphere Music at Champions Square

 

Gary Allan

August 21st

Kinder, LA

Coushatta Casino

 

The Fixx

August 22nd

Marksville, LA

Paragon Casino

 

KC & The Sunshine Band

August 22nd

Vinton, LA

Delta Downs Casino

 

Eddy Raven

August 22nd

Opelousas, LA

Evangeline Race Track


Collective Soul

August 22

Charenton, LA

Cypress Bayou Casino

 

Boyz II Men

August 29th

Biloxi, MS

IP Casino

 

Mötley Crüe: The Final Tour "All Bad Things Must Come To An End

September 4th

New Orleans

Smoothy Kings Center

 

Clint Black

September 5th

Shreveport, LA

Sam's Town Casino

 

Charlie Pride

September 19th

Bossier City

Horseshoe Casino

 

Slash featuring Myles Kennedy and the Conspirators

October 2nd

Marksville, LA

Paragon Casino

 

Jackson Browne

October 10th

New Orleans

Saenger Theater

 

Ariana Grande

October 9th

New Orleans

Smoothie King Center

 

Better Than Ezra

October 16th

Baton Rouge

L'Auberge Casino

 

Josh Groban

October 21st

New Orleans

Saenger Theater

 

Sesame Street Live

Make A New Friend

November 6th

New Orleans

UNO Lakefront Arena

 

Aaron Neville

December 4th

Baton Rouge

L'Auberge Casino

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


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